Sunday, March 15, 2009

St. Paddy's Day Parade and the day I was nearly beheaded by a Verizon frisbee!

For the first time in a long time (at least 15 years when I last roller bladed in the parade) I went to the St. Paddy's Day parade that runs down Divine St.  We actually decided to go at the last minute because the weather was so bad.  We called our best buddies the Shalkhams who had just finished the St. Paddy's Day 5K run (Corby joked that if it were up to us, he and I might make the 5Y run -- as in yard... i.e. we are not built for running).  We met up at Half Moon Outfitters and watched the parade from there.  Anna, Henry and Sharon stayed in the car -- but Kevin, Luke, Corby, Q and I toughed out the rain. 
 Things have changed since I last went to this parade.  Apparently now it is much like a Mardi Gras parade and a specialty advertiser's dream in that the people in the parade pass out, throw out, hurl, and roll at you -- and in the case of one black Verizon Frisbee -- fling at you with the force of an Olympic discus thrower (had I been 2 inches ahead of myself I feel sure it could have cleft my head from shoulders -- or at least left a mark) various goodies emblazoned with their company logo and contact information.
Here are a few of the highlights:
The "Girls of Redbank Offroad"... umm okay.
The "off road club" or something 'er other -- basically a bunch of 4 wheel drive trucks.  Who let these jokers in?  It looked as though they just pulled into the parade route when a cop was asleep at the job.  There were several other "car groups" in the parade -- one of my favorites were the Corvettes because I could just see a bunch of Magnum P.I., chest hair having and aviator shade wearing dudes in short shorts with afros driving -- but it was more like a bunch of old bald men and scary looking women.  My picture of that group did not come out -- I was using my camera phone for all of these.
SC Gay and Lesbian group who were very nice and passed out cups that encouraged recycling.  Is it bad to admit that I expected a little more flamboyance from this group -- like some saucy awesome drag queen or something?   

The "Sweet Potato Queens" -- who gyrated their hips while holding on to posts. This is more what I had in mind from the SC Gay and Lesbian group, but alas they wanted to keep it low key I guess.  At first the guy in the front made me think this was going to be a redo of Ferris Bueller's Day Off with a lively take on "Twist and Shout".  I was not so lucky.
This guy was part of the "mini cooper group" but he was by far the best leprechaun -- and he had a balloon rainbow complete with a pot of gold at the end in the back seat.  Plus, he was just cool.

Saturn of Columbia had 3 cars in the parade -- I mainly took this for my father-in-law and if I did not have a child, this is the car I would drive.

I have no clue who these people were -- I was fighting with Quentin over a Otis Spunkermyer muffin that he dropped on the street and kept eating complete with dirt and gravel.  I just thought they were cute and they reminded me of something the Girlherd might do.
A guy in a racing lawnmower who passed out treats to Q and Luke.
There was a guy with a huge leprechaun head on who came over and handed the boys suckers.  He was reminiscent of a mascot and frankly I was glad neither of the boys burst into tears at the sight of him (they tend to do that with people in costume sometimes) -- I felt sure that he was "safe" because he came bearing suckers. Great.
Yes, Luke had some sweet yellow rain boots on.
Save the ta-tas group -- in a pink VW bug with a black bra on the front -- it was cute, I just wish 
I had gotten a picture from the front.
This was a bail bondsman group who blared a song about how someone "would be coming home".  I thought that was pretty crafty, but some of the folks looked like they could also be clients of the bail bondsman -- a little shifty.
Obligatory flags.
A Basset Hound rescue group.  We had a discussion about how basset hounds are often bought and then turn out to do nothing but bark all of the time so people get rid of them -- hence the need for a rescue group.  Later in the parade was a company that did something about preventing dog barking humanely -- Corby's comment was that the Basset Hound rescue group need to get together with "stop the barking group" and they may not need to have a rescue at all.
The Army band was great.
This great Leprechaun was built out of balloons and was the same float that gave the boys the shamrock balloons.  I declared we needed something like this at the next party.

But the best by far was when the Columbia City Ballet walked by and the one and only man in the whole world who scares my large 6'2 husband was within view... Bill S.   I turned around to find Corby cowered behind a tree.

No offense to the Columbia City Ballet -- I have always been a fan and enjoyed many a ballet through the years -- but a "Hootie and the Blowfish" ballet is  just RETARDED.  COME ON!

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